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That's how I feel. I'm tired and overwhelmed. I know this is the time when life should be grand and exciting but I just can't get into it this year. You would think this year of all years since the munchkin is here but I'm just not feeling it.

On a positive note, the munchkin is sitting up really well now and loves peek a boo. She can be so serious at times, which I attribute to her father. She'll just look at you with her eyes, it's too funny. Her teachers were telling me yesterday she was in her crib at school just laughing and talking to herself. They said they got tickled listening to her and started laughing too.

I'm looking forward to going home. The time will be short but it will be good to see family and we always have fun at mom and dad's and Del and Robin's. I'm sure Hannah, Joseph, and James have grown like weeds!

Maybe it's just because it's hump day..I'll chalk it up to that and hope tomorrow is better!

Sickness and other things

It's dreary here today. Perfect weather for hanging out with the munchkin. Actually she's sleeping right now. She's had a cold and yesterday she got her 6 month shots. She's six months old today. It's hard to believe how quickly that happened.

She's trying so hard to roll over. It's hilarious she'll get on her side and almost have it but she just can't figure out what to do with the arm.

She loves pretty much everything I have given her so far. Her teachers say she especially loves squash, which is good because that is a staple in the Oliver household.

We went to a Thanksgiving lunch at her school this Thursday. I don't care what anyone says, she was so excited to see us (especially Ryan). She sat in that buggy and stuck her chest out, she was so proud! We had a great time visiting with her teachers Ms. Maria and Ms. Jeanette. They love her so much and take good care of her.

Grandma came to visit last week. She now tries to copy the noise that grandma made with her mouth. It's so funny to watch because she opens her mouth but no sound comes out and then she looks confused.

She is a cuddle bug and is so sweet. She'll lay her head down on your shoulder and just bury.

This morning she was in the bouncer and I wasn't sure if she was done playing or not. I held my hands out to her but she kept right on playing. I love it, when she's ready for something different she'll hold her hands out, it's so much better than crying!

We have six more weeks until the end of the year...Thanksgiving, Christmas, going home, getting to see loved ones and family. I'm excited.

Life is so much more exciting and fun when you have a child.

Loving the weather

It's fall. I love this season. The crispness. The beautiful days that hint of cold weather but are actually just perfect to sit out on the back porch with a glass of wine. I love the pumpkins and scarecrows and the little kids so excited about costumes and such.

I cooked a pumpkin tonight. I roasted the pumpkin seeds and baked the pumpkin with some butter, cinnamon, and brown sugar. I also cooked artichokes, but I'll never do that again. To much work and not enough of a result.

I went to a party Friday night. A girlfriend of mine's sister sells diaper bags and burp cloths. Such cute stuff. I spent way to much money but had a great time. No Deborah or Ryan, just me and some girlfriends hanging out.

We took Deborah outside Friday night and put her on a blanket in the grass. Pictures to come tomorrow. I'm going to bed now...another perfect day tomorrow!

Pictures and other things

Going to the football game

Daddy's little girl

Mommy's princess

Aunt Pat...we got to go visit her this weekend...Deborah loved her!

Pappy and Deborah

And of course, Deborah's favorite person, granny!

Okay here are some pictures of the munchkin....I'm sorry it's taken me so long to post these...

Peace

All is quiet, the munchkin is sleeping, Ryan and our company went to a cigar shop and for the first time in a long time, I have the house to myself.

Life is good, the munchkin is growing and changing and coming into her person. She loves to smile and laugh and mom and dad will do anything to get one out of her.

We are going to go to the aquarium this afternoon. It's funny, we were just there it seems with Jim and Keri and Hannah yet the munchkin seemed so much younger than. This time the bright colors and movements will hopefully keep her attention some.

I wanted to post a video but I'm computer illiterate and have no idea how to edit the 1/2 video down to something that people will want to see.

Fall is in the air for which I am so grateful. I love summer but I'm always ready for fall and I love this time of year, it's the perfect temperature and there's just a feeling. Besides this means only 6 more weeks until the deadlines are gone for another year.

The munchkin and I are taking a road trip. We're going to fly up and meet Aunt Bekah and the boys and drive back down South with them. So much fun. Although they will be too young to remember we can tell them when you were little your mom and I drove all three of you by ourselves to granny's. It sounds like such an adult thing to say. It makes me feel old but it makes me feel great. I'm a mother.

I love being a mother. I love how she loves me and knows who I am. How she trusts me 100% not to drop her, to meet her needs. I love that when I pick her up from school she smiles at me. I love that she loves her daddy just as much as she loves me. I love it when I put her in bed with us and she lays in between us and talks and laughs and holds on to my hair like there is no tomorrow. Definitely being a mother is the best job in the world.

The quietness is coming to an end. I hear the munchkin stirring..it's time to eat again.

Fathers Day

My father played and continues to play a huge role in my life. He played with me when I was little, he encouraged me in my dreams, he gave me his wisdom. However, the most important thing that daddy did was teach me about Christ. Not only did he lead us in Bible study but he has lived his life in such a way that reflects Christ. He is a great example. He also made me feel like I was the most beautiful, most wonderful girl in the whole world. I remember one year I wanted flowers so bad to be delivered at school on Valentine's Day. I didn't date in high school so I wasn't holding my breath. I will never forget when my name was called over the intercom. I went to the main office and there on the counter were roses from my dad and brother...oh how that makes a girl feel! Now, if you have seen pictures of me when I was in high school I wasn't exactly Barbie...okay not even close. I was very overweight, had acne and a bad haircut for the majority of my high school career. However, I never knew that I wasn't the prettiest girl in school until I pulled out my annuals years after I graduated. My dad made me feel like a princess.

Now that we have a little girl, I see the importance of this even more. I'm not saying that I made all the right choices when it came to boys, or that I don't have any regrets. I do. However, I can honestly say it's not because my father was not involved in my life or because he didn't do his job as daddy to make me see how special I was. He showed me that and continues to show me that all the time. My wedding day was so special when we were dancing. He didn't cry but he just held me and sang to me.

Part of the reason I married Ryan was because I knew that he would make a good father. Not just in general a good father but a good father to a little girl. It takes a special man to be a good father to a little girl. It's hard work...girls are needy and have all kinds of self conscious issues...I know guys to do but it's just not the same for them. They get their rewards by working and being rewarded. I don't care how smart, pretty, "perfect" a girl is if she doesn't have a good daddy she is one screwed up girl.

Anyways, I just wanted to say thanks to my dad for being such a great, incredible dad and to Ryan, you already are a great daddy and Deborah can't even talk yet! I know that you will be awesome with her.

Pictures!

Uncle Nathan with Deborah

My first bath!

Aunt Sarah with Deborah

Holding dad's finger

Napping

Pictures

We loved the head covering and the nurses even made a bow for her

These were taken by a professional at the hospital. I was so glad I got her in her headband!!

Changes

Well Miss Deborah Lucille made her appearance about three weeks early but she is healthy and happy so we are extremely grateful. She weighed 6 lbs. 15 oz., and was 20 1/2 inches long. She was born on May 13th at 3:48 p.m. She came by c-section however, I'm grateful the doctor didn't make me labor forever and just went ahead and got her out. Her umbilical cord was blocking her entrance by being around her head. God is good and has definitely blessed us beyond our wildest expectations.

In about a week is Ryan and I's 1 year anniversary, which we will celebrate with along with Deborah's one month birthday. It's so hard to believe that she will be a month old, although she has already changed so so much in the past three weeks.

Ryan is such a great father and of course she already has him wrapped around her little but long fingers! Everyone says that she looks like him and I agree (I think it has to do with the forehead) He is a great help and has been willing to just jump in and do whatever needs to be done including changing diapers. It's so nice to have someone like him to share this new journey together. He is so calm and rational, and I try to be but sometimes I'm more emotional.

Anyways that's a little update on what's been happening. I'll post picture and make it my mid year resolution to do a better job of taking and posting pictures.

Update

6 weeks (God willing) and we'll have a new little person to welcome in our family. I went to the doctor on Friday and Deborah weighs (this is an estimate) 5 lbs 3 oz and she is healthy.

I'm starting to get to the uncomfortable stage and wonder if I'll survive the next month but having Bekah talk to me has helped so much. She really made me feel better this weekend about things.

The April 15th deadline is now past us so this next month work for me will be getting as much done as possible before I go on maternity leave.

Ryan has now begun working Saturdays but hopefully they'll get caught up quickly and that can stop. I don't like it when he works weekends that's our time together!!

We've got the house as finished as it's going to be for a while and are now enjoying it immensely!

Bekah and Joseph came down this weekend along with Nathan and Katie, and Granny, Paula and Rachel came on Saturday. It was so much fun getting to see everyone and spending time with family. It's such a bittersweet thing because now all I want to do is move back to Lubbock, but it will pass.

Bekah is such a wonderful mom and Joseph is so happy and well adjusted. He just talks and laughs and loves to cuddle. Deborah and baby boy got to meet telepathically through Bekah and I's stomach. They seemed to like each other which is good. Joseph likes to pat Bekah's belly and this morning I put him in bed with Ryan and I and he just patted Deborah. So we have the makings of cousins who love each other :) I can't even believe I'm typing this, cousins, it seems like yesterday Bekah and I were living together in Lubbock going to school and here we are married and pregnant at the same time! It's fun to be at this phase though, it felt right to go shopping together for our kids clothes.

Thoughts

God has been teaching me a lot these past weeks. It seems like the theme has been allowing the Holy Spirit to really live in me and allowing God to write my story. It's so interesting how your life seems so different when you are right with God. I've always believed in God, and really never doubted Christ and the cross and what that means for and to me personally. However, it just seems like I'm more aware of these things now.

As a soon to be parent it is so important to me to pass this on to my daughter. She is special, God uniquely created her and placed her with us to raise and nurture. My prayer is that she will know Christ and know the love that God has for her. Ultimately, that is where (especially as women) we get our security from. God has given Ryan and I a huge responsibility. As her birth draws closer and closer my prayer is that through Him we will be able to give her the foundation she needs to come to know God and to understand how much He loves her and to share the love that we have for God with her.

I know this is kind of a scattered blog but I can't quite put into words what is going on but felt the need to. So I apologize if it doesn't make sense.

We're Alive!

Although I think that everyone that reads this blog knows that, I thought I'd let the world know we are indeed alive. We got moved into the house and oh my gosh it's awsome!! We're about out of boxes and Ryan has been busy putting furniture together and hanging curtains. My parents and brother came down this past weekend and Dad and Nathan put up two ceiling fans for us and they got the baby furniture set up. Deborah now has furniture and her mother can start washing her stuff!

I went to the doctor today and Deborah weighs 3 lbs 6 oz. She is definitely a girl as she had no bashfulness today for which her mother was thankful. She is healthy and growing just right. She does move a lot and she seems to like her hands up by her face. I think I've been so focused on the house and not thinking about the delivery part that I've kind of put the whole thing aside. However, my mom gave me some suggestions and now I feel like I'm better prepared.

Both Ryan and I have been extremely busy at work. Of course it's my busy season and since moving to the new house I'm on a different schedule. It seems to be working and I'm just grateful that my boss doesn't care when the work gets done as long as it gets done. Ryan has been the "project manager" and project engineer on his job and a couple of weeks ago they hired a project manager so that should help some.

I plan on getting some pictures of the house up this weekend, but I haven't taken any yet now that we are in and unpacked.

Dr.'s Visit

I felt Deborah kick for the first time last Sunday (January 31) We were in church and I was getting all baptisity as Ryan likes to call it (worshiping) and she just joined right in, kicking several times. It was the coolest sensation ever. Now it's fun because she'll go after it for a while and stop, go after it for a while and stop. But it's nice to know I don't have to wait for the doctor's visit to feel her and know she's in there.

I am almost in my third trimester so last Tuesday was my monthly check up at my OBGYN's office. I have high blood pressure. I am doing what she told me to do, exercise and watch my eating but it still hasn't gone down. One of my coworkers let me borrow her blood pressure machine so I have been taking it on my own at home to see if there is a pattern or something that makes sense. So far nothing. Please pray that it will go down. I have been walking at lunch and am tracking points on WW. Also, I'm trying to rest better and not go all the time. But let me just say when you're trying to move into a new house and are having a baby that is just plain hard!

Onto the house, Ryan and I went out and looked at it yesterday and wow, we now have grass and a tree and shrubs in our front yard and our back yard has grass in it. They basically have one more week of work on it, which would be putting the carpet in, cleaning, touching up paint and then it's ready to go!!! I'm so excited. Ryan scheduled the movers so it's real. Rounding that corner yesterday was so cool....it felt like we were driving home!

We also went to a parent conference yesterday at our church. It was such a good time of learning and reminders. It also helped me relax a little because they talked about parenting with intentionality, which made me feel more at peace. Normally I am a very intentional person, however, with a baby I wasn't sure how to be intentional about parenting because I have no idea what I'm doing. However, they gave some really good pointers as far as the spiritual training of the child and emphasized that it is the parent/families primary role to train a child spiritually which I really appreciated. My parents did that for us and I feel like I have benefited greatly from that training and it is also some of the best memories that I have as a child. We also were reminded how important it is to establish a good marriage as children develop a perception of marriage and relationships at an early age from their parents and that perception doesn't normally change much as they get older.

Daycare, House, and Hormones

So we found a daycare for Miss Deborah. This makes her mommy very happy and I'm excited to say it's a church daycare, that is about a ten minute drive from my office. That in itself is a huge thing since we're in Houston everything is far away. We're very grateful that God opened this path for us and on top of that, Grandma and Nana are going to be watching her the first two weeks in August so that we could put her in this daycare. I'm so grateful that my mom and Ryan's mom can do this for us. It's really nice to have parents that can help.

We close on our house February 23rd. It's been so much fun going after church and looking at the progress they have made. Ryan was a champ and got the storage building cleaned out last Saturday with absolutely no help from me. I have most of the apartment packed and so now we're just waiting.

The past two weeks have been rough, emotionally and especially hormonally. I did feel better though after talking to Lori when she informed me that pregnant women are truly insane. That is exactly how I feel, insane. I go back to the doctor on Monday and we get to see Miss Deborah on the 16th of February so that will be fun. I'll post pictures this time. Last time we went the technician didn't do a very good job and so there was nothing to post. This time I'm going to ask for one that is zoomed out and you can see all of her.

It's a Girl!

Okay, I'm sure anyone that reads this already knows that by now, however, this is my log so to speak so I'm recording it to be forever saved in the never never land of the internet.

Miss Deborah Lucille will be here some time in late May and I think her mother and daddy are now in the mode of holy crap there are so many decisions to be made! We did get one thing checked off the list, we went and registered at Target today.

This week has been rough on me, I'm not sure why, but I've been really grumpy and generally depressed. I keep telling myself there is absolutely no reason to feel this way, I have an incredible husband, we're building a house, and we're going to have a baby, along with a million other things that I am thankful for, however, I just could not shake it.

Hopefully, things will be better next week, as work should be picking up. It's time, a break is good but it's now time to be busy again!

Tuesday when we found out that Deborah would be joining us, I went to Target and bought some girl clothes and two woobies...which are like security blankets with a stuffed animal on them? It's hard to explain but I love them and so does Joseph so Deborah must have them :)