Warning - long post and heavy

I have a heavy heart tonight. I spent my lunchtime reading blogs, which is one of my favorite hobbies. I don't have to know the person writing the blog but I love the stories. I stopped by a blog called Kellys Korner (http://www.kellyskornerblog.com/). Her post today allowed people with special needs children to link to her blog so other families struggling might find some support.

I clicked on some and was in a land where although I pray I never have to go, I am still amazed at the strength, perseverance, and reliance on God through hell and back.

There were several stories about babies never living after delivery...a disease known as Trisomy 18. Babies diagnosed with this rarely make it past birth. These were recent posts that meant mothers went into the hospital knowing the odds of her baby being born alive and left the hospital with empty arms. These stories were of families who had to tell their other children why their little sister/brother wasn't coming home. There was a story of a little girl that lived for 52 minutes and died in her mother's arm, yet in the midst of the devastation and heart break they were at peace. Triplets, two of them died that "should have" lived and the one that doctors had no hope for is now a teenager. Families that made the choice to adopt children with downs syndrome, autism, celebral palsay, etc..

I am so grateful that God has blessed us with a healthy beautiful vibrant daughter and that David appears to be without any special needs as well. However, after reading these stories today I kept thinking how would I respond? Would I continue to trust, would I let anger and grief persuade me that God doesn't care? These posts were not a pat God is in control..these posts were raw. Women and men crying out to God for the strength to get them out of this hell. Women and men trying to keep going after something so heartbreaking. Could I respond in this fashion? As a believer I would hope so.

I have never had a life changing event like this happen to me. I have never ever really even had to deal with death of someone who has lived a long life much less someone who never had a chance. While reading these blogs there was such a combination of all kinds of emotion. There was of course the grief, anguish, despair, and anger, but there was so much more. These were people clinging to God trusting Him to meet them in even these moments. There was such strength and peace, that only can come from enduring something this heavy. I don't believe that a person can get there without experiencing something this significant.

I realize this is a scattered and random post but I guess what hit home today while reading these stories is I pray that when my trial comes I am able to rely on the only One who can get me through it.